Marina - this sounds like it relates to point 2, Remember who is speaking. It sounds as though the feedback is possibly irrelevant - if your client was pleased, does it really matter if your friend was not? If it does matter, what has your friend highlighted that your client didn’t notice? What options does this give you for approaching future assignments differently? But you don’t necessarily have to ‘accept’ the criticism. If it really is irrelevant, then it’s time to drop it - easier said than done, I know. Especially if (as it sounds like) the feedback is unsolicited. Maybe your friend doesn’t realise the effect his/her criticism is having? In which case it’s time for you to give some feedback on that…

Catherine - it can be even harder when you’re reading something out that took ages to write! Re the ‘well-written’ comment, I know what you mean about wanting the style to be invisible sometimes, but that comment could mean all kinds of things - e.g. that the article had a real impact on the person, or that it was written clearly so that it was easy to understand the ideas. Praise is nice, but it doesn’t always give us enough information - which brings me neatly on to Patricia’s point…

Patricia - yes, very good point. It’s nice to be liked, but it doesn’t tell you very much about the piece, it’s much more useful to get detailed feedback about the audience’s experience, the kind of thoughts and emotions that the work provoked at different stages. I’ve got a poem at the moment about an experience of feeling confused and disoriented, and one of the first comments I’m getting from readers is ‘I’m confused’ - which is the reaction I want, even if not every reader wants it!

And yes, jokes probably are the exception that proves the rule. They either do what it says on the tin or they don’t.

I have (by now) a thick skin. I write plays, and do frequent readings and workshopping as the work progresses. If an audience member says “I like,” or “I don’t like,” I don’t really care all that much. I really pay attention to “I didn’t understand… ” or “This confused me,” or “The theme is …” when it’s not the theme I had in mind. Also audience members asking questions, because it means I’ve left a gap that rankles. This is very useful feedback.

But if no one laughs at a joke 2-3 times in a row, hey, face it. It’s not funny.

But, I’ll admit, I’m a little bit sensitive to some comments. For example when someone tells me a post was well written, I always feel that I haven’t done a good enough job with the post, or they wouldn’t be paying attention to the way it is written!